Chapter 9

“I don’t know when I’ll be ready to trust blindly again.” Jon answers Mika.

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to believe in forever.” Mika would tell him.

“Mika what do you think about taking the risk with each other. I’ll believe in you if you trust in me.”

”Meaning?” She’d ask not quite sure she knows what he’s asking. She must have used the wrong tone because the next thing out of Jon’s mouth is odd.

”Well before this goes any further, are my advances unwelcome? I am in no way trying to sexually harass an employee and if you feel I am tell me I’ll back the fuck off fast.”

”No not at all. I don’t feel harassed one bit.”

“Ok I’d like to see if we can take this further than friendship.”

”Meaning, you want to date?”

”Fuck no I hate dating. But yes I mean that’s where it starts.”

”So you don’t want to date?” Mika would ask completely confused at this point.

“Mika I want to be with you. I hate dating I’d much rather be married. I’m no good at this asking a woman out and trying to be someone other than what I am. I’d much rather have a wife at home I can love every night and take out on the town that knows me for who and what I am.” Jon says completely falling all over his words.

“So you want Dot back?” Mika was almost in tears, her heart wasn’t ready for this ping pong match.

"No, no pet, I didn’t say that. God I suck at this I haven’t had to do it since I was 16. Dot and I are through. She walked out and I don’t give another chance after you break a sacred vow to me. Do I want her? No. Do I want what she represented in my life? Absolutely.”

”And that was?” Mika asked backing away from Jon just a little getting ready to run and hide at any moment.

“Stability. What I want is a relationship. I hate second guessing myself I want to know I can walk on the bus after a great concert or a shitty concert and walk into the open arms of the lady that loves me. I want to know she won’t find someone else that interests her more. I want the security of marriage.”

“Jon don’t get me wrong but marriage didn’t work out so good for you last time and you want it again?” Mika asked.

“I’d say by today’s standard of an average marriage in the US lasting 5.2 years, ours lasting 18 years was a success. I feel we’d still be married if I would have tried a little harder. I didn’t necessarily take advantage of her, I mean I’d still ask her out not assume she’d come with me to things. I loved her and only her for the better part of my life. But that part of my life is over now. I’ve learned that you don’t keep a marriage strong by never being there. I’ve learned that you have to have more things in common than your kids and your love of the commitment. Dot watched football with me cos I loved it. She hated it. She lived in our mansion because I loved the place she didn’t. She was completely into working out and staying in great shape and Karate. All things I’d avoid if I could. I’m in shape because I have to be, I’m on TV, in movies, on stage people don’t go see Meatloaf but the millions but they do come see us. I forgot to appreciate and take interest in things she was concerned with and eventually it just created a hole in our marriage that couldn’t be repaired. I don’t hate her. I don’t like her much right now for breaking my heart but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t giving her what she needed so she found it from someone else.”

Mika looked at him amazed at how in tune he is to the truth behind any relationship, it takes two people to make one work or fail and when you don’t show up and give 100% you can’t really be shocked when it fails.

“Come on Jon it’s almost time for them to start calling for you.”

“Are you gonna watch the show tonight?”

”Always.”

“Where are you gonna be?” He smiles as he takes her hand and interlaces fingers with her starting to walk back towards the arena. He’s completely at ease at the pace they are taking things. It's amazing to him that he’s found someone he clicks so well with and is so attracted to. He knows Mika’s been hurt, by life mainly so he’s willing to give her all the time she needs to see he’s not out to hurt her more.

“Probably by the side stage. I always check it right before curtain.”

“You take such good care of me.” He smiled at her and kissed her hand.

They walked back to the arena and Jon and Mika go their own ways. He sat down and rewrite the set list and then walked up to the band and smiles.

“OH shit he’s changing the set list again.” Richie knows that smile well.

“Well I was thinking,” Jon starts and David laughs.

“We told you to stop that it's dangerous for the rest of us.”

“Yeah well you love me so here you go.” He hands a copy of the set list out to everyone.

”What the fuck key is this in again?” David laughs about Runaway.

”I don’t know buddy but that’s all you.” Tico is loving all their faces. He just grabs his ipod and started
listening to the songs he can’t quite remember.

“Jon you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. When was the last time we played Summertime live?”

”I don’t know but it's still technically summer so lets play it.”

”And this one.” Richie points to another,

“Don’t worry I’m doing that acoustic on the side stage if you’d like to help out on the main stage feel free.”

Jon felt good about throwing a curve into the game plan for tonight. He loved it when he can keep the guys on their toes. He never wants the set to get boring and what’s so great is they have been together over 25 years so they have a hell of a lot of songs to choose from.

That night during the show Mika is amazed at the set. After seeing the show every night for the past 3 months, she can honestly say she’s never seen the same show twice. Jon changes the set list daily, but tonight he must have kept only 5 songs or so it seems she didn’t know what to expect when he showed up on the side stage.

He had her help him up there again and started with Blaze of Glory like normal. Then he got the audience’s attention with a short intro.

“OK you’re all going to have to humor me on this next song. I really wanted to say something to someone very important to me. She’s had a rough time of things lately and luckily she’s trying to fight her way back. I’m hoping she’s going to understand what I mean by this song, I’m sure she will though she’s found meanings in our songs I didn’t even know were there. “ He looked her square in the eye, “Mika this is for you.”
He then started an acoustic version of “If That’s What It Takes.”

I played the part of a broken heart upon a show
I played that part so lonely and so well
Thought that love belonged to someone else, not me and you
Yeah, I know that you've been shattered
You been bruised
We both know what it feels like when you lose
But I'd bet my life on a roll of the dice for you

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
Tonight’s the night, I'm gonna prove it to you
Do I have to break down, baby just to break through
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried
I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside
'Cause it hurt you way too bad to say good-bye
Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test
And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget
But I'm driving blind, I'll lay it all on the line for you

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
Tonite's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you
Do I have to break down, baby just to break through
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

So, when you feel like jumping
Just when your heart starts pumping
When you're standing out on that ledge-staring over the edge
I'll be there to talk to you down
I'll be there before you hit the ground

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
Tonight’s the night, I'm gonna prove it to you
Do I have to break down, baby just to break through
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If we take the time to do it right, I know we'll put through
If it took all my life, I'd prove it to you
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...