Chapter 10

That night after the concert Jon wants Mika backstage he thinks he deserves a kiss but unfortunately when he’s done with work for the night Mika is not.

Jon would entertain himself with the fans, taking what Mika said to heart he actually gives them more of a chance to calm down before deciding that they still couldn’t have a coherent conversation. Eventually he decides he’s going to go on the bus. At tells Dan the fill in for Paul on the road, to tell Mika to come to his bus after tear down. He thinks maybe they can ride from town to town together and that can be a way for us to ‘date’ lack of better terms. The guys normally fly from city to city but they do have a band bus and Jon can just choose to take the bus so he and Mika can be alone.

Now that he has a plan he opens up the bus and also opens a bottle of wine. He actually has his production assistant run and get them pizza before Mika arrives. He so want to change into sweats and no shirt but he figures if this is going to be a ‘date’ he shouldn’t get that forward. She has every right to see him looking like he would if they were going to go out for pizza for example.

Dan would tell Mika that Jon would like her to go to the band bus when the equipment is all set.
Mika would walk to the bus confused. She’s never seen the guys in the band take the bus from town to town. Normally they fly and sleep in plush hotels while the road crew drives through the night sleeping on the bus.

Once outside the band bus Mika knocks, “Come in.” Jon says from inside.

“I don’t know how to open the door.” Mika yells back.

“It's a secret.” Jon would say as he opens the door then smirks. ”Secret, Secret I got a secret” He starts to sing a Styx song.

“OH no you are Jon – you sing Jovi, not Styx.”

”I’ve been hiding, under my skin” Jon continues to sing and Mika would smack him lightly in the stomach.

“Shut up”

“Don’t’ want me to sing no more?” He pouts.

“Stop pouting it's just so not – ok it's sexy but shut up.” I’d smile.

He then realizes they are outside and he wants to move this date along. “It might help if I gave you code huh?” He smiles, just noticing how she looks tonight. He loves the look she has right now, her hair quite out of place because she was rocking out to the show and sweating along with him, then she still had to work afterwards. She comes to him in a Bon Jovi shirt that states, “Finding My Way on this Lost Highway” on the back and Bon Jovi CREW on the front with the rose and heart dagger design. To Jon she’s beautiful as she is.

“OK rock star you in there?” Mika would spout off because Jon zoned out.

”Yes smartass I’m here. Anyway, here’s the access box and what year was I born?”

”1962.” Mika would say to him without thinking. “You can’t honestly tell me you’re using that as a code, like your fans wouldn’t know it as fast as I did.”

“OH good call.” He then smirks and changes it to 2691.

“You’re kidding right? Your birth year backwards?”

“Hey feisty woman what’s up with you. You’re normally sassy. But tonight you’re off the charts.”

“You can’t honestly be asking me why I’m sassy?”

We are on the bus so I turn to look at him straight in the eye.

“OK can I be the gushing fan now?”

”Yes ok I’ll deal.”

“OH MY GOD Jon Bon Jovi just sang to me tonight!”

“You done now?”

“yeah”

“It's so good to see you smile like this, I’ll let you be the gushing fan if it’ll make you smile.”

”It’s getting easier to smile Jon.”

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Chapter 9

“I don’t know when I’ll be ready to trust blindly again.” Jon answers Mika.

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to believe in forever.” Mika would tell him.

“Mika what do you think about taking the risk with each other. I’ll believe in you if you trust in me.”

”Meaning?” She’d ask not quite sure she knows what he’s asking. She must have used the wrong tone because the next thing out of Jon’s mouth is odd.

”Well before this goes any further, are my advances unwelcome? I am in no way trying to sexually harass an employee and if you feel I am tell me I’ll back the fuck off fast.”

”No not at all. I don’t feel harassed one bit.”

“Ok I’d like to see if we can take this further than friendship.”

”Meaning, you want to date?”

”Fuck no I hate dating. But yes I mean that’s where it starts.”

”So you don’t want to date?” Mika would ask completely confused at this point.

“Mika I want to be with you. I hate dating I’d much rather be married. I’m no good at this asking a woman out and trying to be someone other than what I am. I’d much rather have a wife at home I can love every night and take out on the town that knows me for who and what I am.” Jon says completely falling all over his words.

“So you want Dot back?” Mika was almost in tears, her heart wasn’t ready for this ping pong match.

"No, no pet, I didn’t say that. God I suck at this I haven’t had to do it since I was 16. Dot and I are through. She walked out and I don’t give another chance after you break a sacred vow to me. Do I want her? No. Do I want what she represented in my life? Absolutely.”

”And that was?” Mika asked backing away from Jon just a little getting ready to run and hide at any moment.

“Stability. What I want is a relationship. I hate second guessing myself I want to know I can walk on the bus after a great concert or a shitty concert and walk into the open arms of the lady that loves me. I want to know she won’t find someone else that interests her more. I want the security of marriage.”

“Jon don’t get me wrong but marriage didn’t work out so good for you last time and you want it again?” Mika asked.

“I’d say by today’s standard of an average marriage in the US lasting 5.2 years, ours lasting 18 years was a success. I feel we’d still be married if I would have tried a little harder. I didn’t necessarily take advantage of her, I mean I’d still ask her out not assume she’d come with me to things. I loved her and only her for the better part of my life. But that part of my life is over now. I’ve learned that you don’t keep a marriage strong by never being there. I’ve learned that you have to have more things in common than your kids and your love of the commitment. Dot watched football with me cos I loved it. She hated it. She lived in our mansion because I loved the place she didn’t. She was completely into working out and staying in great shape and Karate. All things I’d avoid if I could. I’m in shape because I have to be, I’m on TV, in movies, on stage people don’t go see Meatloaf but the millions but they do come see us. I forgot to appreciate and take interest in things she was concerned with and eventually it just created a hole in our marriage that couldn’t be repaired. I don’t hate her. I don’t like her much right now for breaking my heart but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t giving her what she needed so she found it from someone else.”

Mika looked at him amazed at how in tune he is to the truth behind any relationship, it takes two people to make one work or fail and when you don’t show up and give 100% you can’t really be shocked when it fails.

“Come on Jon it’s almost time for them to start calling for you.”

“Are you gonna watch the show tonight?”

”Always.”

“Where are you gonna be?” He smiles as he takes her hand and interlaces fingers with her starting to walk back towards the arena. He’s completely at ease at the pace they are taking things. It's amazing to him that he’s found someone he clicks so well with and is so attracted to. He knows Mika’s been hurt, by life mainly so he’s willing to give her all the time she needs to see he’s not out to hurt her more.

“Probably by the side stage. I always check it right before curtain.”

“You take such good care of me.” He smiled at her and kissed her hand.

They walked back to the arena and Jon and Mika go their own ways. He sat down and rewrite the set list and then walked up to the band and smiles.

“OH shit he’s changing the set list again.” Richie knows that smile well.

“Well I was thinking,” Jon starts and David laughs.

“We told you to stop that it's dangerous for the rest of us.”

“Yeah well you love me so here you go.” He hands a copy of the set list out to everyone.

”What the fuck key is this in again?” David laughs about Runaway.

”I don’t know buddy but that’s all you.” Tico is loving all their faces. He just grabs his ipod and started
listening to the songs he can’t quite remember.

“Jon you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. When was the last time we played Summertime live?”

”I don’t know but it's still technically summer so lets play it.”

”And this one.” Richie points to another,

“Don’t worry I’m doing that acoustic on the side stage if you’d like to help out on the main stage feel free.”

Jon felt good about throwing a curve into the game plan for tonight. He loved it when he can keep the guys on their toes. He never wants the set to get boring and what’s so great is they have been together over 25 years so they have a hell of a lot of songs to choose from.

That night during the show Mika is amazed at the set. After seeing the show every night for the past 3 months, she can honestly say she’s never seen the same show twice. Jon changes the set list daily, but tonight he must have kept only 5 songs or so it seems she didn’t know what to expect when he showed up on the side stage.

He had her help him up there again and started with Blaze of Glory like normal. Then he got the audience’s attention with a short intro.

“OK you’re all going to have to humor me on this next song. I really wanted to say something to someone very important to me. She’s had a rough time of things lately and luckily she’s trying to fight her way back. I’m hoping she’s going to understand what I mean by this song, I’m sure she will though she’s found meanings in our songs I didn’t even know were there. “ He looked her square in the eye, “Mika this is for you.”
He then started an acoustic version of “If That’s What It Takes.”

I played the part of a broken heart upon a show
I played that part so lonely and so well
Thought that love belonged to someone else, not me and you
Yeah, I know that you've been shattered
You been bruised
We both know what it feels like when you lose
But I'd bet my life on a roll of the dice for you

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
Tonight’s the night, I'm gonna prove it to you
Do I have to break down, baby just to break through
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

I bet you counted all the tears I bet you've cried
I bet you swore you'd never let love back inside
'Cause it hurt you way too bad to say good-bye
Now, there'll be times when I might put us to the test
And it's hard for broken hearts to just forget
But I'm driving blind, I'll lay it all on the line for you

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
Tonite's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you
Do I have to break down, baby just to break through
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

So, when you feel like jumping
Just when your heart starts pumping
When you're standing out on that ledge-staring over the edge
I'll be there to talk to you down
I'll be there before you hit the ground

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
Tonight’s the night, I'm gonna prove it to you
Do I have to break down, baby just to break through
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If we take the time to do it right, I know we'll put through
If it took all my life, I'd prove it to you
If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do
If that's what it takes...

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Chapter 8

Over the next few weeks Jon and Mika spend quite a bit of time together. On the rare day off from concerts Jon does press and then comes to find Mika, they generally will go for a walk or go find something in the city to do. They have talked quite a bit about her feelings on his music. He actually was starting to enjoy talking to someone who could give him the ‘fan’ view of his music. They would be sitting on the bank of a river eating lunch when Jon would brush a piece of hair away from Mika’s eye and smiles. “Ok so what song should we discuss – Welcome – why does that one help you?”

“You seriously want to know this?”

”Yes actually it’ll help me understand why certain songs get such powerful reactions and maybe what songs I should put into the set list.”

“OK but I warn you this is your psycho fan talking.”

”Hey at least you talk to me now.” He’d mouth off.

“Brat shut up. OK Welcome, there is a part in that song that goes :

When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyone’s a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say


That song tells me that no matter what if I can accept me and who I am the world can just bite me. So many of my friends or other people in my life think for example I’m nuts for going on the road with you guys, what about my career and how will this affect my life down the road, how will I explain this year away. You know trying to give me doubt and listen to this song and I’m reminded to ignore all of them and believe in me. I think it's a fundamental song to put in the show because there are so many young people who let others lead them into things but if they get this song stuck in their heads because of something you say on stage maybe one or two of them won’t go down that road because they’ll believe in themselves instead.”

“Ok I never realized it could be that much of an impact I’ll put it back in the set list. What about I want to be Loved You mentioned you liked that song or it helped you deal with something what was it if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Oh it's just the chorus rings true.” Mika recited the words to him like he didn’t know them.

I'm gonna live
I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream
I ain't gonna die
Thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give
I'm ready to try
Willing to lay it on the line
I wanna be loved
I wanna be

”After a bad breakup with a boyfriend this song is really fun to sing at the top of your lungs when you’re frustrated at why things go the way they do. I like it for the very reason that I’ve used it to get some of the pain out. You know it's a way of saying ok this one didn’t work but I still wanna be loved and I’m going to dream of the perfect man and I’m not going to die from this pain and I won’t lock myself away I’m gonna try again.”

“Maybe I should take my own advice huh?” Jon asked. Then threw a rock into the river.

“She did a number on your heart didn’t she?”

“Yes. In no uncertain terms yes. I can tell you the kind of pain I was in the summer after the tour. No one saw me I went to an island in the Virgin Islands and hid out. I only showed my face when absolutely necessary. It hurt to damn bad to know she could throw a relationship this long in the garbage but worse of all I couldn’t really blame her much because she went for the one thing I couldn’t give her, someone with a normal 9-5 job that didn’t travel for his work.”

Mika got brave, she’s not sure if she’s ready to believe everyone you care about doesn’t die, but she had to know if Jon was healing at all. “Are you ever going to love again?” She asked him.

”Are you going to believe everyone doesn’t die that you love?” He countered.

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Chapter 7

Chapter 7

“No this is the kind of conversation I want to have with fans this is what I don’t get to have. When I do a meet an greet they come back stage and scream –literally – I need my hearing so I tell you it's always loud screaming. The meets are structured so much because they haven’t been rewarding for the band for lack of a better term for years. It's nice to meet the people that buy my records but more often than not it's; I think you’re so hot, I think your sexy, I’d like to fuck you – and I’m like ok great thanks – I had a woman in my life for 28 yrs I didn’t need or want to hear that. It’s seldom I could meet a fan that could coherently talk to me the first time I met them. I don’t get that to this day I don’t get the screaming and gushing they do.”

“Jon what were you like the first time you met Bruce? You had butterflies and were nervous right?” Mika asked.

”Yeah for like 2 min and then I wanted to play guitar with him.”

“But Jon not every person that likes your music can actually play music. If your fans can’t get to you on that level they want on some level to let you know how important your music is. Take me for example I’m a huge Jovi fan but I can’t play Wanted. Hell I can’t play Make A Memory and that’s a whole lot of plucking. Your fans are trying to let you know in someway how much you and by you I mean the band, means to them. This being said now not from an employee but a fan, I want you to know how incredibly important Bon Jovi has been to me throughout my life.” She explained softly.

“Ok why will you tell me your innermost thoughts now and wouldn’t talk to me for weeks?”

“Because you stopped by Jon Bon Jovi when we came up here to talk, I see you are a real person, one on one you are just a guy so I can talk to you like you’re just any other guy now.”

“Great, tell me about this feeling you have for our music.” Jon wanted to know it actually interests him. He can tell Mika being on the road has helped her he just doesn’t know why.

Mika told him “Your fans wouldn’t be around this long if they didn’t appreciate your music. Women are always going to go on and on about you being hot – lets face it you are, but get over it you aren’t all that.”

Jon looked at her and asks, “Was that a compliment or a slam I’m not sure?” He would be laughing it's been too long since someone’s talked to him like this.

“Don’t know.” Mika laughed too.

“What I’m saying is don’t count the conversation out just because that’s the way it starts. The first time I met you I wouldn’t talk to you at all.”

“yeah one word answers and then you were hugging my brother .”

“pout much.” Mika laughed.

Suddenly over the walkie talkie’s they both carry they hear “Jon to the stage – Jon to the stage priority 1.”

“I’ve gotta go be the boss. Thanks for the talk we aren’t done yet.” He smiled and ran down the stairs and ran to the stage. Already expecting to have to put a fire of some sort out.

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Chapter 6

She’d take Jon’s hand as he helps her down and almost has a heart attack. She can tell he feels the electricity too cos he pulls his hand back quickly once she’s safely on the ground.

Jon and Mika walked to the far end of the arena and got up into the seats. Jon finds them a place to sit and turns to her. “Ok Mika now that you’re a little more familiar with the road and your job. I’m sorry I bit your head off last week. I didn’t mean to go off on you. Long story short Dorothea and I are no longer married because she was tired of waiting for me to come home. I came home from the HAND tour she was sitting at the table with the papers.”

“holy hell” Mika said shocked at that coldness.

“yeah talk about cold I didn’t have a fucking clue, she didn’t ask for anything, I have the house she hated the mansion – she has custody of the kids while I’m on tour I have custody when I’m not on tour same city same schools – kids are cool, Jake and Romeo don’t quite get why mommy kisses someone else now but the oldest two get it. We didn’t fight – I didn’t even know she hated me.”

“I doubt she hated you I don’t think anyone could hate you .” She told him.

“That’s true according to her it was more difficult to love me than let me go. Ok I spilled, now it's your turn. What happened to make you want to do this? With your background and education, Bachelors in Telecom with an emphasis and video and audio production and a Masters Degree in Business and history of work before this in Radio, TV, and Recording Studios– why leave a pretty high paying job I’d bet and come
be a roadie?” His inquisitive nature got the best of him.

Mika swallowed the pain and told him. “2 months before I got the job with you my mom was killed in an accident. She wasn’t just my mom; she was one of my best friends. I was an only child, my dad died when I was only 4 so mom and I were close my whole life. To quote a song of yours: “god closed his eyes and the world got mean”. I lost everything-what do you do when home is gone? Since I was it, I spend 2 months closing out her estate planning her funeral, burying her, I sold my childhood home, I could never live there, I couldn’t, and it hurt to bad to be there.” Mika wiped her eyes and continued with a different point.
“Jon I know you hate fans-“ She gets cut off by him almost before she gets that much out of her mouth.

“Stop right there – I’ll never hate my fans, I love my fans. “

“Better way to phrase that then, you hate them gushing over you.” She acknowledged.

“Over my looks your right, I hate that. Telling me I’m hot makes me want to puke. Telling me you like my music and it does something for you blows my mind it makes me in awe of the fact I have this talent.”

“Ok so get ready to get your mind blown. Because if it wasn’t for Jovi I wouldn’t be here right now I would have given up, if I didn’t have this, and by this I mean being a roadie I’d be lost. This in the bigger sense is Jovi-“

Again Jon cut her off midway through he wanted to keep the mood light this poor woman has been through hell in her life he can see the pain in her eyes and its only let up a little since she started on the road, “What are you too good to say Bon Jovi?”

“Fuck off”

“You just told your boss to fuck off.” He quickly pointed out with a smile.

“Yep and what are you gonna do about it”

“Not a damn thing just thought I’m point it out. Now I wanna know this tell me more.”

“Bon Jovi has given the world songs like Keep the Faith, I want to be loved, Welcome to Wherever you are; they make the darkest night seem bright, the coldest bed seem not so lonely, especially Welcome.”

“Really that’s helped?”

“Do you have any idea what some of those lyrics mean to me right now?”

“No tell me” Jon encouraged.

“Does your head need to get any bigger?” Mika smiled. Talking to Jon Bon Jovi no longer exists he’s just Jon to her now.

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Chapter 5

Jon and Mika have another run in about a week later that again doesn’t go so well. Tony has come out to check on Mika to see if being a roadie is working for her. While Mika and Tony are talking Jon comes up just as she hugs Tony.

“What the hell, you come out and she’s all over you whereas I can’t even get a hello.”

“Jon get over yourself.” Mika tells him getting a little braver every day.

“See I knew there was a reason I hired you. She’s here to keep your ego in check big brother.”

“You know Tony I can still fire your ass.” Jon would crack at Tony and the two of them start talking so Mika just turns back to work. Jon would not like being ignored so he walks up behind her and stands close enough she can feel his not quite completely hard cock through pants.

“What didn’t you get lucky backstage?” Mika asks still not facing him.

“Actually I did, this is me relaxed.”

”I didn’t know Dorothea was out.” Mika says

He looks at me and his eyes kind of get clouded over. It makes Mika understand what Tony meant about a haunted look in her eye because Jon has it. “No.” Is the only reply with a clipped tone.

“Jon I’m so sorry I didn’t know.”

”Maybe if you talked to me every fucking now and then you’d know this shit and wouldn’t say crap like that.” He’s spout off and walks away.

Mika would be shocked, she had no idea there was trouble in paradise and she looked at Tony. “What’d I do?”

“Jon and Dot got divorced after the Have a Nice Day tour.”

”I never heard anything.”

”No one did, they kept it very quiet.”

”What happened?” Mika would ask.

“For that information you’ll have to talk to Jon. Good luck.” Tony would add as he walked away.

Jon allows for a few weeks to pass before he tries to get to know Mika better. He’s seen her since their run in about Dorothea but neither of them has said anything. She honestly has been acting like she could care less when he’s in the room. He has to admit, her acting like she has no interest in him piqued his interest. It had been quite a long time since he actually had to work to get someone’s attention. He gave her a few weeks to get acclimated and then decided to try again to talk to her. With what he now knew about her it was imperative that they come to a better working relationship.

Jon would walk out into the arena and again see Mika and Marsha jumping up and down on the side stage testing the safety.

“Hey we secure?” Jon asks both Marsha and Mika and they both look at him, “We secure babe, we secure.”

“Thank you ladies. Hey Mika can I talk with you for a few?”

“Sure Jon.” She says wondering if she’s in trouble, is he finally going to fire her?

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Chapter 4

Six am came way to early for Mika. Luckily she just had to get on the bus and she could sleep on the way to Miami. Why they were doing a one off in Miami she didn’t know or care but when she saw Tony in the parking lot and filed onto the bus with everyone else it finally became real. She took a seat somewhat in the middle of the bus. Another woman was sitting across the aisle from her so she felt a little more at ease.

Suddenly a young hottie in the crew sat down next to her.

“Hey beautiful. Glad to see Tony finally gave us some new blood this year.”

”Jacob get your skanky ass away from her.” The girl across the aisle piped up. Jacob obviously realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere so he got up and moved and the girl moved over to the seat next to me and held out her hand. “I’m Marsha and he’s trouble. He’s got more time logged between the sheets than I think the entire band does.”

”Ouch, thanks for the warning. I’m Mika by the way.”

“Mika that’s very pretty does it mean something?”

”I’ve heard it means raccoon and also beautiful smell so I don’t have a clue.”

They’d both laugh and spend half of the trip getting to know one another. Mika still leary of everything keeps the conversation far away from her family.

Mika gets lost in the bussle of setting up the stage. She and Marsha are assigned to work together all tour. They are assigned to bring in, set up, secure and take down the side stage that Jon appears on during the middle of the show.

After we bring the stage in from the semi we work together pretty effortlessly to lift the pieces and get them locked in place to secure them.

“Now for the true test. We jump on it to make sure it’s secure.” Marsha tells me and we both climb up and start jumping on the little 4 ft by 4 ft stage.

“So Marsha we secure?” A voice says from the ground and without looking back she laughs. “We secure babe we secure.” She then turns to smile at Jon.

“Hey sweetie get down here I haven’t seen you in forever.” Jon takes her hand and helps her to the ground and gives her a hug. He then turns to Mika and offers his hand. Mika refuses and just jumps down directly.

“Ok you have to be Mika.” Jon smirks.

“Yes.” She says softly.

“So do you like working on the road so far?”

”Yes.” Again a short answer.

“Are you ever going to talk to me?” Jon asks.

“Probably.” Mika would say, “Excuse me.” She’d then take off.

“Marsh-what’s up with her?”

”I don’t know she keeps to herself about her private life, maybe she’s just shy around men or maybe she thinks your some famous rock and roll star. Personally I don’t see it but maybe.” She’d laugh and Jon gives her another hug and walks backstage. He gets to his bus and calls Tony.

“Yeah Jon.”

”Hey what’s with this Mika girl you hired? Is she a Vanilla Ice fan or what? She won’t say more than boo to me?”

”Brotherhood –“Tony asks for Jon’s sworn secrecy pact.

“Of course Bro.”

“She’s had some serious family drama. She told me she doesn’t have a home and almost started crying in the interview.”

”Why the hell did you hire her then?”

”I’m gonna fax you her resume. She’s perfect for Paul’s job when he retires next year.”

“Alright did you do the check?” Jon says referring to a background check.

“Yes she’s clean everything on the resume is confirmed.” Tony tells his brother.

“Ok I’ll wait for the fax.” Jon hangs up wondering what Tony found in Mika. To him she just seemed cold and almost unapproachable.

Within 5 min he has a copy of my resume and then notices what Tony saw.

With this new information on her education and experience Jon is willing to give Mika another chance.

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Chapter 3

The paperwork stated they would need to be at the parking lot of Jovi Enterprises at 6am a week from Friday. That gave Mika a little over a week to get everything in order. Mika takes the following week to wrap up her ‘adult’ life. She calls her financial guy, flies back to Wisconsin and puts her life on hold for the next year. She hires a landscaping company to come shovel her sidewalk during the winter so she doesn’t get fined from the city. She has her furnace checked to make sure it will work all winter and she sets it to 50* making sure her pipes won’t freeze. She then calls her best friend Helen to tell her what’s going on.

“Hey babe how are you doing?” Helen asks, knowing full well Mika is probably not handling any of this well at all. She was an only child after all; her dad died when she was little so losing her mom had to make her feel like she was alone completely in the world. No place to call home, no one to spend the holidays with. She also knew that Mika would cry about it in private but most likely not let the world know about her pain.

“I’ve ran off to join the circus.” Mika tells her friend.

“Really can I join too?”

”Sorry its only for orphans.” Mika says.

“You are not an orphan, Mika stop that you have family they just aren’t blood relation. You have me and my mom and dad already call you their other kid, Tammy’s family, Amy’s family we all have your back.”

“I know but its not the same so I’m refusing to be a responsible adult for the next year.”

”What did you do?”

”I am fulfilling my dream.”

“How so?” Helen asks her.

“I've been hired to be part of the road crew for Bon Jovi. I'm closing my house up, paying a landscaper to shovel and disappearing for a year.” Mika said all in one breath.

“You can't disappear; I love you. You need to stay in touch with me.” Helen stated, she knew that Mika was dealing with so much, she understood in the oddest sense Mika's need to escape.

Helen I'll stay in touch I just need this.” She told her that she has to get back on a plane today to go back and asked Helen if she’d take her to the airport. She of course says yes then questions more why and how this is going to help her.

“Why? I mean if you can’t go back to work now I know you don’t need the money anymore, why are you going to leave and go on the road with a band? I know you’re insane about Bon Jovi but I just don’t get it.” Helen asked, needing to know for sure her 'sister' had thought this through.

“I never told you ½ the reasons this band means the world to me. Helen, when I was attacked in college by that ass. Keep the faith came out and it was a song and an album that told me I could believe. It was ok to still have faith in men, in life, in whatever. Then when Ray broke my heart and we didn’t get married, Something for the Pain was the song that helped mend. There’s a line in it I opened up my heart, but all I did was bleed I don’t need no lover, just to get screwed. I used to scream that at the top of my lungs. Helen there are a million examples of times in my life when Jovi had the perfect way to express what I was feeling and now, now that I’m empty inside, I need that back. Therefore reality can bite me I’m joining the circus.”

“Will it help? Will it make you smile again and be my Mika that I know?” She asked softly. Hoping if at the end of this excursion she had her best friend back.

”I don’t know Helen. Something inside me is broken. I think this is the way to fix it.”

”Then I wish you luck, you’re keeping your cell right?”

”The number will stay the same but the service is changing cos I need better national coverage.” Mika smiled that her friend saw her need for this and accepted it. Even if she didn't understand her Jovi obsession she understood Mika's need.

“Call me or email me with a schedule so I know where you’ll be.”

“Will you go over to my place every now and then to make sure its still in one piece?”

”Sure babe – hey I'll even take you to HuHot before I have to take you to the airport.” She smiled, damn she was going to miss her 'sister.'

”OH you’re the best friend in the world Helen, I’m gonna miss you.”

”I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

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Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Within a week Mika was in Jersey and had figured out where Bon Jovi Enterprises offices were. She had literally come in and requested a job application for the road crew, she was told they weren’t hiring. She left for the day and came back the next day. Same story, different day. Mika refused to give up. She knew in her soul this was the only way to get back to being her again, she knew this kind of a life for a year or so would do her well. By Friday they finally decided she was actually interested in a job more than just the band so they gave her an application and someone sat down to interview her. Within minutes of the interview, Mike the guy conducting the interview told her, “You’re overqualified.”

“I don’t care, this is the job I need.”

“Hold on.” He gets up and goes to get Tony. Mika had seen pictures of Tony when he was younger so she couldn’t tell if the man walking to her was Tony or not.

“Mika, hi, I was wondering do you know who I am?”

”Maybe.”

”It’s pretty much a yes or no question.”

“Well you might be Tony but I don’t know for sure. I haven’t seen a picture of you in a while.”

“Alright Mika I’m going to be frank about this – you don’t come here to meet the band.”

“IF all I wanted was the meet the band I’d stand behind the arena after a show or camp out at the hotel that they are staying in. I have a media arts production background, video and audio. I ran sound for live shows and in the studio; I’ve even produced a cd while in college. I’ve worked in Radio and TV. I worked for a friend’s band for set up and tear down. I have a background in this. When I got my bachelors degree they asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I said manage Bon Jovi. Mind you I was 18 but still. Trust me there has been a lot of shit that’s gone on in my life lately Tony and I need Jovi to help me deal.”

Tony can’t believe she just swore in a “interview”. He looks at Mika and her eyes seems somewhat off.

“Mika are you ok?”

“NO actually I’m not Tony. This job could fix all that.”

”Mika if you’ve got family problems at home running to the road doesn’t fix them it only makes them worse.”

“Trust me Tony, this is just what the dr ordered.”

“The pay is crap.”

“I don’t need the money Tony I need the experience.”

“Alright welcome to the Jersey Syndicate.” Tony shook her hand and took her picture for her all access pass, he had Mika fill out the appropriate paperwork. He handed her a manila folder of all the information she’ll need. Right before she left his office he looked at her. “I’m sure you know of the brotherhood.”

”Yes what happens in Jovi stays in Jovi.” Mika recited by heart.

”Exactly that goes for the crew too. You’ll see things you probably shouldn’t and we have to know it’ll never go any further. The band gets protected. The road is their safe place to let off steam. Can you do that?” Tony needed the confirmation before the official hiring.

”Absolutely.”

”Alright I just need you to go down stairs and talk to Melissa and pick up your uniform. I’ll meet you at destination 0 at 6am on Thursday.” He smiled to her and shook her hand.

“Thanks Tony you won’t regret this.” Mika smiles for what feels like the first time in a month and leaves to talk to Melissa. Come to find out the uniform is her pic of any 10 black Bon Jovi shirts.

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How to Heal a Heart

DISCLAIMER: This story is written purely for enjoyment, it will have adult language/angst/sexual situations but none of it is meant in anyway to be disrespectful to the real people in this story. Just make believe.
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Chapter 1

Mika Jamison was 35yrs old and broken. She had long brown naturally curly hair, an average body for a woman in her mid thirties, and brown eyes that normally smiled for everyone but now they had a haunted glow to them. She sat looking at her mom’s financial adviser who was explaining to her how much she was inheriting. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening; her only parent was not dead. She handled her dad dying when she was only 4. OK, that wasn’t fair but she couldn’t lose her mom at 35. Life sucks. This can’t be real, this can not be happening. Her mother wasn’t supposed to die, not until she was 150 that was the rule.

“Mika I know this is hard for you. Your mom told me you weren’t going to accept her death. No matter when it happened. But sweetie, she didn’t suffer, that car accident was quick. She would want you to move on with your life. She left you this so that you could pay off your house and find what you wanted in your life.” Mary, her mom's long time friend offered.

“Mary thank you, I know you mean well but you see we made a deal. She wasn’t supposed to die til she was 150 and she broke the rules. What am I supposed to do without my best friend?”

Mary came around her desk and gave Mika a hug. She’d then sign the papers that allow the transfer of stocks and bonds to her and over a million dollars. How in the hell Mika’s mother ever managed to save that much money in her life was beyond her.

Mika spent the next 3 weeks in Michigan, cleaning out her mothers house, shipping what she wanted to keep back to her own house and giving the rest to family and friends and the local goodwill agencies. Mika couldn’t really cry for that time. She kind of turned her emotions off so she could get through it without breaking down. She immediately put her childhood home on the market, for well under fair market value because there was no way she could ever live there. It was no longer home. When her mom died that town and that house stopped being her home. She didn’t really have one now. Sure Mika owned her own house but home was always where mom was and now…now that was gone. The house was cleaned out and was sold quickly, a young couple who just transferred to the local hospital bought it, Mika’s realtor negotiated a better offer than what the asking price was and Mika signed off on it. Obviously the realtor wanted a commission, who was Mika to begrudge her that she just wanted out of town. All financial items were settled she took a ride out to her mom and dad’s graves, said goodbye and told them to be happy together and drove to her house in Wisconsin.

It took Mika all of the 3 hour trip to her house to realize she couldn’t do it. She could not to back to work in Sales like it actually mattered. She didn’t care anymore, she didn’t want to be responsible and play by societies ‘accepted’ standards anymore. She just couldn’t see her self waking up and going to her 8-5 job. Nothing was normal in her life now, she didn’t need the money anymore. Oddly enough she’d willingly sell her truck and her house and everything she owned for 1 more day with her mom but that wasn’t going to happen. Finally she hit the 5 minute mark before she hit her city and one of her favorite songs came on her ipod and she just knew what she was going to do.
Maybe we're different, but we're still the same We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins I know sometimes it's hard for you to see You come between just who you are and who you wanna be If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end [Chorus] Welcome to wherever you are This is your life, you made it this far Welcome, you gotta believe That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be Welcome, to wherever you are When everybody's in, and you're left out And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt Everyone’s a miracle in their own way Just listen to yourself, not what other people say When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down Remember everybody's different Just take a look around [Chorus] Be who you want to, be who you are Everyone’s a hero, everyone’s a star When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes

She was going to do what she told her college counselor she wanted to do at the age of 18, she was going to work for Bon Jovi. Maybe not manage them she didn’t want that kind of responsibility right now but she would be on the Lost Highway tour, as a roadie, she knew then and there that is what it would take to heal her. Bon Jovi has always been something that felt like home, this had to help, it just had to.

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